New Beginnings!

Making the World a Better Place, One Baby at a Time


(UNITED KINGDOM) – I wrote an article for an early edition of the Global Exclaimer (back in 1991, probably right after the Berryman’s Brake Cleaner Kills Wasps Dead issue) titled “Woman Purees Newborn” and subtitled “Acquitted on Technicality”. In that article the lawyer argued that a newborn was simply a post-uterine fetus. I reposted that article to the Glob Blog in 2004 (see link above) when “partial-birth abortions” were in the news. It horrified the online readership, and then one person said “Clearly this is a joke and a bad one – I don’t know why Frater Bovious would put this out there” to which I replied that partial birth abortions were simply one step away from that.

And now this. The thing is, it is a cold implacable logic. The question, which would be pooh-poohed today, but which will be in discussion in the next five years is “Why draw the line at newborns?” What keeps the argument from being extended to say, a five-year old kid? “If I had known then, what I know now about what a brat this is, I would have aborted it.” So, for the sake of a woman’s right to choose, the state should fund humane centers for offing the kids you realize today that you should have aborted. We can call the centers “New Beginnings!”

"Honey, the people from New Beginnings are here!"

So, I have this 16-year-old kid, a ward, if you will, that has become kind of a pain in the rear for me and the Puppycat right now. Clearly his  mother was in no condition to have a kid (otherwise, we would not be taking care of him), and so, clearly, this kid should have been aborted – so let’s ship him off to “New Beginnings” and have him put to sleep. Isn’t that the only fair thing to do for me and my wife? I mean we didn’t have the kid and now he’s our little burden. Isn’t it the right thing to do? Well, yes, if abortion is the right thing to do, so is taking my wife’s ex-husband’s little mistake to New Beginnings. Now we can finally afford to have the pool resurfaced.

That is where the logic takes you. It is inescapable once you go there. It only took 21 years to go from “Women Purees Newborn” written for shock value to “After-birth abortion: Why should the baby live?” Are you shocked today? Will you be five years from now?


One response to “New Beginnings!

  1. Pingback: Living Things Eat Other Living Things | The Spiritual Advocate

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